The last kills/The End
by Harbinger of Death
Aeaea, Paladin and AmAzOn were hiding out in the dungeons. It was a yucky filthy place,
but they had to do it, for safetys sake.
This is ridiculous, said Zoni. I need to sleep in a real bed.
I know. Id forgotten how nasty it was down here, its been so long since
I was new, observed Aeaea.
Ah, the memories, sighed Paladin, remembering with a faraway look how some of
the girls had tied him up down there for days making him their slave. And that was just
Hell never look for us down here! Aeaea said gleefully.
Yeah, youd have to be crazy to lock yourself in this place! Zoni
laughed, and the others just looked at her. What, whatd I say?
Nevermind. We just have to hide out for a little while longer. Hell never miss
us with all the other Debs down there, and when they all come back, well come out
and everything will be normal again. Paladin looked at his watch. Hope
They heard a little scratching noise behind the walls. What is that sound?
asked Zoni. Its been going on for hours.
Probably rats, said Paladin.
Rats? said Aeaea, looking about her fearfully.
Yup. And not the kind you can bargain with like Maurice.
Sure enough, they saw little pairs of red eyes inside the dark crevasses. They huddled
against one another; not that they were that afraid, mind you, but it was just creepy
looking, and nobody likes the thought of a rat bite.
They were right about these rats, though, in that they were not your typical rats. These
were nasty, hungry, vicious rats who saw these three humans as a lovely gift. How nice of
someone to have lunch delivered.
Scores of rats leaped from the walls, covering the three and eating away at them. They
pecked and nibbled and bit and tore at their flesh. The screaming Debs could not detach
the rodents from them, and soon they were reduced to bloody prey like a zebra being eaten
by a lion. Their bodies lay torn open on the ground while the rats covered them and gnawed
at their muscle, occasionally running off with a finger or eyeball or chunk of kidney.
The Harbinger felt odd. He was getting ready to perform the loophole destroyer when he
sensed there were more Debs alive....one very near, and one very far. Who was it...who was
it....Jackie was far away, he could tell. Very clever. He paused to consider the
situation, and made a few phone calls down to Lost Wages. From what his sources said, she
was well occupied and wouldnt be back to throw a wrench in his plans. Very well. She
could live. This year.
But there was one more....he honed in on the signal and went looking for it.
It was Cathbad, who, having found himself alone on campus, decided to take advantage of
the situation. He had long since envied Omars surveillance system and all the
footage he must have garnered with it. Now was his chance to tap into it and get an
He snuck into Omars room at the mansion and looked around. Yes...a secret panel
here...and a safe behind that picture....oh, he hit the mother lode! Video and audio
tapes, all labeled with names and events that made him drool. He was going to make some
popcorn and pull up a chair and lock his door, and do some quick dubbing. Hed
replace them before Omar even knew they were gone.
But wait...he was ready to leave when he realized all of his actions were surely on tape
also. He tried to remember where the camera was for this room. He searched everywhere but
couldnt find it. He sighed and laid on the bed, trying to think. It was then that he
saw a little red glimmer coming from the base of the ceiling fan. Aha!
Cathbad stood on top of the bed and peered up. There it was, a little camera, staring
right back at him. He reached up to take it when the security system was activated. Omar
took precautions against this very thing, you know. The ceiling fan whirred into quick
action, and the razor edges of the blades neatly lopped Cathbads head off, his melon
flying through the air onto the floor and rolling under the desk. The camera was safe, and
the last one on the list was dead.
It was time to destroy the loopholes, a.k.a. lurkers who never presented themselves enough
for HoD to get a good shot at them. He placed a bio-bomb in the center of the university
and set the timer for three minutes. That would give him just enough time to get home
before it went off and killed every living thing on campus while leaving all structures
In the death mansion, a great shudder was felt in the foundations when the bomb went off,
wiping out every last lurker and straggler. All the ghosts looked at each other and
grinned, knowing theyd be human again soon.
But Harbinger had another idea. Hi folks, he said. I have an
announcement. Im not going to reanimate you just yet.
WHAT!!! They all protested loudly and complained and howled.
Now settle down! Theres a party waiting for you, as you know. He nodded
at Shoshana, who agreed. I thought maybe youd like to go to that party as you
are. You know, as ghosts. Best costume you could ask for.
The Debs considered this. It would be kind of neat to party as ghosts.
And anything you eat wouldnt make you gain weight, he added. That
clinched it. They all cheered as Harbinger opened the gate. There you go, he
said. Get on back to campus and enjoy your party. He went upstairs to the body
parts. The heads looked at him expectantly. Theyre going to stay ghosts,
he told them. But you I have to reanimate, because I dont think youd
have much fun as pieces out at the Halloween party.
Awwwwww! the heads said, disappointed.
He looked at their sad little faces and sighed. All right, all right. Tell you what.
Ill bring you back and then kill you again and you can be whole ghosts.
Thanks! they said, cheerful again. So he put all the pieces in one place,
waved the sickle and they were human again. Another wave of the sickle (more like a slash
really) and they were dead. The ghosts, happy to be in one piece, skipped off to celebrate
with the others.
As for the Harbinger of Death, he relaxed for a moment. Not a bad years work. The
construction on the Battlefield would begin tomorrow. The Debs were dead but happy.
Hed bring them back to life after theyd passed out drunk. (Yes, ghosts can get
drunk. They didnt know it yet but theyd find out.)
And he was looking forward to a good deal of rest. Plenty of time to think of new ways to
kill everyone again next year.
Happy Halloween, everybody! See you next year!
Posted on Oct 31 1999, 03:01 PM