HoD - The last kills/The End

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The last kills/The End
by Harbinger of Death

Aeaea, Paladin and AmAzOn were hiding out in the dungeons. It was a yucky filthy place, but they had to do it, for safety’s sake.

“This is ridiculous,” said Zoni. “I need to sleep in a real bed.”

“I know. I’d forgotten how nasty it was down here, it’s been so long since I was new,” observed Aeaea.

“Ah, the memories,” sighed Paladin, remembering with a faraway look how some of the girls had tied him up down there for days making him their slave. And that was just last month.

“He’ll never look for us down here!” Aeaea said gleefully.

“Yeah, you’d have to be crazy to lock yourself in this place!” Zoni laughed, and the others just looked at her. “What, what’d I say?”

“Nevermind. We just have to hide out for a little while longer. He’ll never miss us with all the other Debs down there, and when they all come back, we’ll come out and everything will be normal again.” Paladin looked at his watch. “Hope it’s soon.”

They heard a little scratching noise behind the walls. “What is that sound?” asked Zoni. “It’s been going on for hours.”

“Probably rats,” said Paladin.

“Rats?” said Aeaea, looking about her fearfully.

“Yup. And not the kind you can bargain with like Maurice.”

Sure enough, they saw little pairs of red eyes inside the dark crevasses. They huddled against one another; not that they were that afraid, mind you, but it was just creepy looking, and nobody likes the thought of a rat bite.

They were right about these rats, though, in that they were not your typical rats. These were nasty, hungry, vicious rats who saw these three humans as a lovely gift. How nice of someone to have lunch delivered.

Scores of rats leaped from the walls, covering the three and eating away at them. They pecked and nibbled and bit and tore at their flesh. The screaming Debs could not detach the rodents from them, and soon they were reduced to bloody prey like a zebra being eaten by a lion. Their bodies lay torn open on the ground while the rats covered them and gnawed at their muscle, occasionally running off with a finger or eyeball or chunk of kidney.


The Harbinger felt odd. He was getting ready to perform the loophole destroyer when he sensed there were more Debs alive....one very near, and one very far. Who was it...who was it....Jackie was far away, he could tell. Very clever. He paused to consider the situation, and made a few phone calls down to Lost Wages. From what his sources said, she was well occupied and wouldn’t be back to throw a wrench in his plans. Very well. She could live. This year.

But there was one more....he honed in on the signal and went looking for it.

It was Cathbad, who, having found himself alone on campus, decided to take advantage of the situation. He had long since envied Omar’s surveillance system and all the footage he must have garnered with it. Now was his chance to tap into it and get an eyeful.

He snuck into Omar’s room at the mansion and looked around. Yes...a secret panel here...and a safe behind that picture....oh, he hit the mother lode! Video and audio tapes, all labeled with names and events that made him drool. He was going to make some popcorn and pull up a chair and lock his door, and do some quick dubbing. He’d replace them before Omar even knew they were gone.

But wait...he was ready to leave when he realized all of his actions were surely on tape also. He tried to remember where the camera was for this room. He searched everywhere but couldn’t find it. He sighed and laid on the bed, trying to think. It was then that he saw a little red glimmer coming from the base of the ceiling fan. Aha!

Cathbad stood on top of the bed and peered up. There it was, a little camera, staring right back at him. He reached up to take it when the security system was activated. Omar took precautions against this very thing, you know. The ceiling fan whirred into quick action, and the razor edges of the blades neatly lopped Cathbad’s head off, his melon flying through the air onto the floor and rolling under the desk. The camera was safe, and the last one on the list was dead.

It was time to destroy the loopholes, a.k.a. lurkers who never presented themselves enough for HoD to get a good shot at them. He placed a bio-bomb in the center of the university and set the timer for three minutes. That would give him just enough time to get home before it went off and killed every living thing on campus while leaving all structures intact. Perfect.

In the death mansion, a great shudder was felt in the foundations when the bomb went off, wiping out every last lurker and straggler. All the ghosts looked at each other and grinned, knowing they’d be human again soon.

But Harbinger had another idea. “Hi folks,” he said. “I have an announcement. I’m not going to reanimate you just yet.”

“WHAT!!!” They all protested loudly and complained and howled.

“Now settle down! There’s a party waiting for you, as you know.” He nodded at Shoshana, who agreed. “I thought maybe you’d like to go to that party as you are. You know, as ghosts. Best costume you could ask for.”

The Debs considered this. It would be kind of neat to party as ghosts.

“And anything you eat wouldn’t make you gain weight,” he added. That clinched it. They all cheered as Harbinger opened the gate. “There you go,” he said. “Get on back to campus and enjoy your party.” He went upstairs to the body parts. The heads looked at him expectantly. “They’re going to stay ghosts,” he told them. “But you I have to reanimate, because I don’t think you’d have much fun as pieces out at the Halloween party.”

“Awwwwww!” the heads said, disappointed.

He looked at their sad little faces and sighed. “All right, all right. Tell you what. I’ll bring you back and then kill you again and you can be whole ghosts.”

“Thanks!” they said, cheerful again. So he put all the pieces in one place, waved the sickle and they were human again. Another wave of the sickle (more like a slash really) and they were dead. The ghosts, happy to be in one piece, skipped off to celebrate with the others.

As for the Harbinger of Death, he relaxed for a moment. Not a bad year’s work. The construction on the Battlefield would begin tomorrow. The Debs were dead but happy. He’d bring them back to life after they’d passed out drunk. (Yes, ghosts can get drunk. They didn’t know it yet but they’d find out.)

And he was looking forward to a good deal of rest. Plenty of time to think of new ways to kill everyone again next year.


Happy Halloween, everybody! See you next year!

Posted on Oct 31 1999, 03:01 PM

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last updated: March 12, 2009
Shoshana 1999-2009