Board to death

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Board to death
October 22 2001 at 11:31 AM
Harbinger of Death 

“Let’s play!” OmarSnake brought a board game to the table.

“Not Monopoly again!” Birdly groaned. “I may be your assistant, but I have had it up to my eyeballs with this game.”

“Ditto,” said Manto. “Assistant is not synonymous with board game slave.”

“That’s not what you told me the other night,” said Feonix, her assistant.

She giggled and elbowed him. “That’s naked Twister though, and you never complained before,” she said.

“I wish we never had to play this again!” Bird pronounced, and suddenly they were all caught up in a whirlwind that sucked them into the game. Now they were little enough to walk around the board as real-life players.

“This does not bode well,” said Omar.

“What do we do?” asked Manto.

“We might as well play,” said Feonix. “We can’t do much else. I’m the top hat.”

“I’m the thimble!” said Bird.

“You’re the dog,” Manto told Omar. “You deserve it, for getting us into this.”

“Come on, how bad can it be?” he said. “Fine, I’ll be the dog.”

“And I’m the shrubbery.”

“There’s no shrubbery, Manto.”

“There ought to be!”

“You say that every time we play. Just pick a piece, okay?”

“Fine, give me the shoe.”

They kicked the dice to roll them, and pushed the game pieces around as best as they could.

“I’m buying the electric company!” Omar bragged. “Ha ha!”

“This is exactly why I hate this game,” Bird said.

“You love it.”

“Are you deaf? I just said I hate it.”

“You love it if you want to get your next paycheck.”

“Um…I can live with it.”

“What was that?”

“Fine, I love it, I’m MAD about it! Are you happy??”

“It’s my turn,” said Feonix, interrupting what was very nearly a tantrum. He kicked one die, and then the other. “Aha! I get the water company!”

“Hey!” said Omar. “I wanted the water company!”

“Tough noogies,” said Feonix. “I wanted B&O, but you took it even though I’ve got the other three railroads. Tell you what, I’ll trade you the water company for B&O.”

“Give me a break! That’s a monopoly on four properties for two!”

“And I’ll throw in $1000.”

“Hm, that’s a tempting offer.”

“Just take it, you greedy snake,” Manto told Omar. “Then you can have your utilities and he’ll have the railroads, and we’ll be that much closer to getting this game overwith. Maybe when we’re through playing we’ll get to go back to regular size.”

“Good point. All right, it’s a trade.” They lugged the cards and money over to change hands.

But when Omar’s utility cards touched each other, something happened. The water started running like real water, and the lightbulb was really lighting up. “What’s going on here?” Omar said. He went over to take a look, and stepped on them both. The water rushed over him and then the lightbulb flickered as he went into spasms of electrocution.

“Agh! Omar!” Bird said, and rushed over to him. Manto started to do the same, but Feonix held her back.

“Bird, no!” Feonix called, but she didn’t listen, and she too suffered the same fate. Manto and Feonix could only watch as their friends were zapped to death. Finally their bodies lay on the utility cards, stiff and motionless.

“What are we going to do?” Manto cried.

“I don’t know,” said Feonix, worried. He backed away, and in doing so, stepped on his four railroad cards. The ground trembled.

“What’s that?”

“It can’t be good.” There was the sound of a train whistle. “That’s really not good!”

They looked around, but couldn’t run, since they couldn’t see anything and would have no idea where to go. Suddenly they were blinded by a huge, bright light, and—WHAM! A train hit them, squashing them flat.

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