October 11 2001 at 11:20 AM
|Harbinger of Death
|Heraclid worked diligently at the knots that
tied him to Stripe. “Are you sure this will work?” she asked him,
“Of course,” he said confidently. “You know how it is in the horror movies. Somebody always wanders off alone, and that’s when they get the axe. This way we’ll all stay together, and nothing can happen to us.”
“I hope you’re right about this.” Maigrey was doubtful. “I don’t watch many horror movies.”
“Trust me,” he assured them. "I've done my homework."
“But what if we have to use the bathroom?” asked Lil. They all looked at each other.
“We’ll have to work that out later,” said Heraclid. “In the meantime, let’s not drink too much water, hmm?”
“Fine, but I’m bored,” said Maigrey. “Let’s play a game.”
“How about Follow the Leader,” Stripe snickered, and was promptly elbowed for it.
“No, seriously, that's a good idea. Do you guys know how to play euchre?” Lil said, looking around for her deck of cards.
“Let’s do Go Fish instead.”
“No, Old Maid.”
”How about, let’s watch the back of our eyelids?” said Heraclid, weary from all his knot-tying.
“No, we’re bored!” The girls were insistent. He sighed.
“All right then. Where are the cards?”
“I think I left them downstairs.”
“Okay, let’s go.” They inched toward the stairs, taking itty bitty steps so as not to stumble. “Step, step…step, step. All together now.”
But somehow Heraclid tripped (was that a hand he felt on his ankle?) and went tumbling down. Being tied to the others, naturally they all followed, and these were very steep and very hard steps. CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!
They lay in a massive heap at the foot of the stairs, twisted around unnaturally, broken and lifeless. It was quite literally a stairway to heaven. Or at least to the Dead Debaucherette Party House.