Greco-Roman murder

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Greco-Roman murder
October 27 2004 at 5:17 PM
Harbinger of Death 

There was only one Twinkie left on the plate in the study hall. [Not that anyone was actually studying, mind you; don’t get the wrong idea, since we don’t want people dying before their times of heart attacks. A few Debs were simply playing cards and passing the time.] Anyway, this one Twinkie was all by itself sitting there out in the open.

“Come on, partner, are you going to call it?” asked Dreamtraveler of her euchre partner, RedStorm.

Stormie dragged her eyes from the Twinkie, looked at her cards, and knocked the table. “I pass.”

“I pass too,” said Stripe. “I’m not about to give you guys an ace.”

“I’m picking it up,” said DT, putting the ace in her hand.

“Oh, what a surprise,” said Shoshana. “Fine, but you’re going to get euchred.”

“Nuh-uh. Lead something.”

While Shoshana was leading with an off-suit ace, Stripe sneaked a hand over to the plate.

“Ah-ah, that Twinkie is mine,” RedStorm declared, smacking Stripe’s hand. “You already had yours.”

“So did you,” DT reminded Stormie. “I believe the Twinkie belongs to me.”

“You are all deluded. You guys had your Twinkies, I only had a cookie, so this light, spongy cake with the heavenly creamy filling is all mine.” Shoshana grabbed it.

“Back off!” squealed Stripe. “I had it first!”

The girls leapt at each other and the snack cake, clawing and wrestling for the golden treat. They fell off the table and landed with a thud, but the landing wasn’t as painful as they expected. In fact, it was kind of soft.

“Did we get new carpet?” asked ‘shana.

“It’s not carpet, it’s a mat. Look.” DT gestured at their surroundings. They were in a gymnasium, it appeared, and there were large circles on even larger mats. Four dark Things grabbed them and paired themselves off with the Debs inside the four circles. The Things crouched down, arms out, as if waiting for something. A whistle blew, and the creatures lunged, wrapping their arms and legs around the girls and pinning them to the mats. The girls fought back and rolled around, but the Things were big and powerful.

“I’ve wrestled worse than you,” grunted RedStorm.

“Yeah, like on your last date!” laughed Stripe. “Ooook!” Her opponent put her in a choke hold.

“Didn’t anybody take the wrestling class on campus?” wailed DT as the Thing with her attempted to fold her in half.

“That’s in the P.E. department, which counts as exercise, which is against my beliefs,” Stripe said, trying to claw at the Thing’s eyes, but of course he hadn’t any. It hoisted her up over its head and dropped her on its bent knee. Her back broke with a sickening crunch, and she fell to the mat with glazed, lifeless eyes.

“This does not bode well,” Shoshana remarked. She gave up with the wrestling techniques and took a swing at the Thing with her fist. It blocked her with its large hand and squeezed hard, breaking the bones in hers. She cried out in pain, and it easily knocked her down onto her stomach. It started the classic leg-bend move, but didn’t do it at her knee; the Thing bent her legs back at the hip, snapping her pelvis in the process. The pain was so great that she gave up the ghost almost immediately.

“I give!” squealed RedStorm, and flopped down onto her mat. The Thing looked at her for a moment, then took a flying leap and jumped on her. It came down on her so hard that it crushed her lungs; she stared into space for a few moments unable to take in a single breath before she died, mouth open, lips blue.

DT, meanwhile, was too uppity for her own good, and continued to fight the Thing with all her might. She dodged, ducked, wriggled and kicked her way out of its hold time after time. Finally the Thing had had enough. It reached out, grabbed her head, and twisted it like a bottle top. Her neck broke and she collapsed, wriggling no more.


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