Bits and pieces
by Harbinger of Death

Now that warrior-bard was gone, it was kind of nice having the Battlefield to herself, Keleos thought. And the rats were running all over campus with their usual business so they didn’t much get in her way. They knew better, anyway.

The doorbell rang, and she growled a little. She was just getting ready to curl up with some tea and read a book. It better be an emergency. Kel opened the door to see her assistant, Mania.

“Hi boss. Brought that cheese you wanted.” Mania held up a paper bag.

“Oh, good. It’ll be really good on those traps.” Keleos giggled. They weren’t stupid enough to actually step on a mousetrap (at least most of them weren’t) but it was fun to torture the rats with the sight and smell of quality cheese that was just out of reach. (She really had a malicious streak in her.)

“Did someone say cheese?” Maurice poked his head around the corner.

“Yes, and no you can’t have any.”

“You are one tough broad, you know it?”

“Of course I know it. How do you think I got to be where I am today?”

“You mean in an abandoned bar with a bunch of rats?”

“Shut up. I mean I’m an acting chancellor that could squash you in a heartbeat.”

“Promises, promises.” Maurice stuck his tongue out at her and darted off.

“One of these days I’m gonna make me a rat pie,” Keleos muttered.

“You want me to put this in the fridge?” Mania asked.

“Yeah, and start up the oven. I want some popovers with my tea.”

“Yessir. Uh, ma’am.” Mania went to do the bidding of the CA. In the kitchen several rats sat around a little rat table playing poker. “Hi Philippe, Bertram, Roberta, Rodney, Percy,” she said.

“Hey.” “‘S up.” “Hiya.” "Hi kid." "Hi dere."

She whistled as she put away the cheese and got out the popovers and put the kettle on. One of the rats stuck his nose in the air. “Hey. You smell somethin?”

“No,” Mania said. “My new medication kind of stunts my sense of smell. Why, do you?”

“Yeah, but I dunno what it is. Oh well.” Shrug. Back to the game.

Darn, the pilot light was out. Mania got out some matches, not realizing the smell was that of gas. She struck the match and.....

BOOOOMMM!!!!! The Battlefield went up in a blaze. Bits of Keleos, Mania and rat scattered all over; pieces of skin and hair here, portions of bone and guts there, tons of blood everywhere amongst the rubble that once was the hottest spot on campus. Now it was just another marker of destruction and death.

****************

“It’s simple. All we have to do is cut each other up and slip through the bars. Once we’re out, we can reassemble ourselves and do whatever we want.” Omar was confident in his plan.

“Are you sure it won’t hurt?” Calee asked.

“Didn’t hurt me a bit,” Lady Pegasus said. “Nothing hurts now. We’re ghosts, remember?”

“Right. So who’s first?”

“Why don’t you go first?” Alayna said. “It’s your bright idea.”

“Actually it’s my bright idea,” Astraea said. “He doesn’t get all the credit.”

“I can’t go first because I need to stay here to keep order,” said Omar.

“Hah! You just want to stay here with all the giiiiiiirls.” Lyric teased him.

“Do not!” he protested. “Actually I was kind of looking forward to cutting some of you up, if you must know.”

“Thanks a lot,” said Perrin. “Like I didn’t just get cut up enough.” He punched Heraclid on the arm.

“It wasn’t my fault!!” Heraclid said. “Geeeeez!”

“Look, we’ve got to give it a shot or else we’ll never get out of here. So who’s it gonna be?”

“Oh, I’ll do it,” Nydiva sighed. “Come on, cut away.”

“All right.” Omar sliced her up into pieces that would fit neatly between the bars, and at the last held her head in his hand. “How we doing?”

“So far so good,” said her head. “Wait a minute, what’s that sound?”

There was a clanging as Harbinger of Death brought in his latest kill. “In you go,” he said cheerily as he ushered them in. “Except for you rats. I’ve got a smaller place for you. Can’t have you going through the bars, you know.” He showed them to their smaller but equally lush holding cell, and then stopped short as he noticed all of his captives staring at him quietly with wide eyes. “What? What is it?” he said.

“Nothing,” they said innocently.

He narrowed his eyes. “I know you guys are up to something now. Usually you’d be complaining or fighting or messing around somehow. What are you doing in there?”

“Nothing!”

“That’s it. Somebody’s found a way to get out. Everybody stand still while I count you. One, two, three, four....”

Oh no! What about Nydiva? Thinking quickly, Omar held up her head for the count. She smiled brightly, not wanting to give away the fact that she had no body.

Finishing the count and finding all accounted for, HoD frowned. “Well, just be aware that I’m keeping an eye on you,” he said. “I don’t want any shenanigans. You kids just behave until Halloween and then you’ll get to go back. Meanwhile, enjoy the niceties I’ve set up for you and welcome your new companions.” He locked the basement doors on his way out.

“Whew, that was close. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Go ahead and roll me on out. But somebody will have to come out and help me reassemble myself.”

“Wait a minute, anybody else we send out there will be in pieces just like you. This could pose a problem.”

“You should have thought of this before!” Nydiva said angrily.

“We need to figure this out.” Omar sat down to think.

Nydiva sighed. “I have an itch on my nose."

Posted on Oct 14 1999, 11:22 AM

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