HoD - Black is back, baby!

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Black is back, baby!
by Harbinger of Death

The Harbinger of Death pulled out his black heavy death robes. It was time once again to wreak havoc upon the earth! Well, at least at Deb U. Those rotten kids had it coming to them again this year. He checked his reflection in the hallway mirror before going out. Yessir, good and scary-lookin’.

As he strode through campus, he realized that something was a little bit odd. It was like everybody was prepared for battle or something. And where were the chancellors? They were first on his list. There was only one thing he could do.

Bluetopaz woke with a bony hand over her mouth and started to grab for her staff until she realized who it was. “Mmmfmffrmrrf!”

In compliance, he took his hand from her mouth. “What do you want?” she asked.

“Nobody’s here,” he complained. “It’s time to start the path of blood and bones I’m bringing this year, but I can’t find the chancellors. I need you to fill me in.”

“Why should I?”

“Because it’s my job, and I know that as a hardworking CA, you can appreciate what it’s like to encounter obstacles that prevent you from doing your job correctly.”

She frowned. He had a point. “All right, Harbinger, I’ll fill you in. But you gotta promise me something.”

“If it’s within my power.”

“It is. I don’t want to die painfully this year.”

“You mean you’re not asking that I spare you?” HoD raised his eyebrows at her.

“Don’t be silly. Like you said, you’ve got a job to do. And somebody has to keep everybody in line on the other side.”

“Don’t be too worried about that.” If a skull could smirk, HoD did. “I’ve got a plan.”

“Well, when it comes to Debs, you’ve got to expect the unexpected. Just remember that, and our little deal here.”

“All right. Give me the story.”

Bluetopaz told him the whole thing, from the plotting to the trip to the theft to the desertion.

“Let me get this straight,” the Harbinger said. “You got rid of the chancellors on purpose, then ditched them without any money, and left three of them to work off their bill while one is in hiding and the last is running around in drag?”

“Pretty much,” Bt said evenly.

He shook his head. “This place is insane. I’ll have to go all the way to Lost Wages now to get my first victims. It’s a good thing I can fly or else I’d be really ticked.”

“Well, be careful,” she said in her motherly fashion. “I know the kids are really looking forward to getting killed this year.”

“I will,” he promised, and was off with a deathly swoosh.

When the Harbinger of Death arrived in Lost Wages, it didn’t take him long to find the errant chancellors. They were soaking in one of Astraea’s freshly-cleaned hot tubs after a long, rough day.

“Oh, my feet,” Hebea groaned.

“My aching arms,” Astraea moaned.

“All that money!” Nanaea muttered.

“This is ridiculous. We’ve been here, what, a month?”

“More like two.”

“This thing has dragged on forever.”

“Yeah, somebody should have written us out of this weeks ago.”

“You got that right.”

Just then they saw a swish of black. They sat up, startled, looking around. “Who’s there?” Astraea called out.

HoD appeared before them. “Evening, ladies,” he said. “My goodness, I had to come quite some way for you.”

“Is it that time of year again already?” Nan said. “How time flies!”

“Doesn’t it,” he said dryly. “Out of respect for your offices, I’ve decided to take you first.”

“How sweet!” Hebea said. “Isn’t that sweet, girls?”

“Very,” they agreed.

HoD rolled his eyes. With a wave of his hand, the hot tub bubbled. And bubbled. And bubbled. The water got hotter and hotter.

“Ouch,” said Nan. “Kinda toasty. I think I’m done. I’ll be wrinkly as a prune.”

They tried to get up, but their exhaustion coupled with the heat had drained their energy. They couldn’t get out. In a few minutes, their skin was red and scalded, blistering in the hot water, and their organs were poached right inside their bodies. The three chancellors had been boiled alive.

“There we go!” Harbinger said happily. “First of the year. Aren’t you proud?” The ghosts of the chancellors nodded. “All right, come with me.” They held tight to his robes and with a swoosh they were gone, and back in the death mansion.

“To the basement we go,” he said, and ushered them into a massive jail cell with several partitions inside. “I can’t have you people trashing my house again, so I devised this cell to keep you enclosed. Don’t worry, there are plenty of niceties inside, but I have to keep you enclosed.”

“That’s no good!” Hebea said as the door clanged behind them. “We’re ghosts now. Bars can’t hold us.” She walked toward them, but bumped right into the iron. “Hey!!”

“These are bars made out of special metal that ghosts can’t get through,” HoD explained. “It’ll hold you just fine. Well, I’ve got more Debs to kill. Cheerio!”

“Well, how do you like that!” Astraea said. “This is horrible, the way we’re being treated, like we’re common dead people or something! I’m going to rebel! I’m going to clang on these bars until he comes back and lets us go! I’ll--”

“Hey, popcorn and soda!” Nanaea said, having found the fridge and pantry.

“Oooh!” Astraea bounded over to make sure she got her share.

Thus began the plague of death at Deb U.... Muhuahahahahaaaaaa!

Posted on Oct 07 1999, 05:06 PM

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