Black is back, baby!
by Harbinger of Death
The Harbinger of Death pulled out his black heavy death robes. It was time once again
to wreak havoc upon the earth! Well, at least at Deb U. Those rotten kids had it coming to
them again this year. He checked his reflection in the hallway mirror before going out.
Yessir, good and scary-lookin.
As he strode through campus, he realized that something was a little bit odd. It was like
everybody was prepared for battle or something. And where were the chancellors? They were
first on his list. There was only one thing he could do.
Bluetopaz woke with a bony hand over her mouth and started to grab for her staff until she
realized who it was. Mmmfmffrmrrf!
In compliance, he took his hand from her mouth. What do you want? she asked.
Nobodys here, he complained. Its time to start the path of
blood and bones Im bringing this year, but I cant find the chancellors. I need
you to fill me in.
Why should I?
Because its my job, and I know that as a hardworking CA, you can appreciate
what its like to encounter obstacles that prevent you from doing your job
She frowned. He had a point. All right, Harbinger, Ill fill you in. But you
gotta promise me something.
If its within my power.
It is. I dont want to die painfully this year.
You mean youre not asking that I spare you? HoD raised his eyebrows at
Dont be silly. Like you said, youve got a job to do. And somebody has to
keep everybody in line on the other side.
Dont be too worried about that. If a skull could smirk, HoD did.
Ive got a plan.
Well, when it comes to Debs, youve got to expect the unexpected. Just remember
that, and our little deal here.
All right. Give me the story.
Bluetopaz told him the whole thing, from the plotting to the trip to the theft to the
Let me get this straight, the Harbinger said. You got rid of the
chancellors on purpose, then ditched them without any money, and left three of them to
work off their bill while one is in hiding and the last is running around in drag?
Pretty much, Bt said evenly.
He shook his head. This place is insane. Ill have to go all the way to Lost
Wages now to get my first victims. Its a good thing I can fly or else Id be
Well, be careful, she said in her motherly fashion. I know the kids are
really looking forward to getting killed this year.
I will, he promised, and was off with a deathly swoosh.
When the Harbinger of Death arrived in Lost Wages, it didnt take him long to find
the errant chancellors. They were soaking in one of Astraeas freshly-cleaned hot
tubs after a long, rough day.
Oh, my feet, Hebea groaned.
My aching arms, Astraea moaned.
All that money! Nanaea muttered.
This is ridiculous. Weve been here, what, a month?
More like two.
This thing has dragged on forever.
Yeah, somebody should have written us out of this weeks ago.
You got that right.
Just then they saw a swish of black. They sat up, startled, looking around.
Whos there? Astraea called out.
HoD appeared before them. Evening, ladies, he said. My goodness, I had
to come quite some way for you.
Is it that time of year again already? Nan said. How time flies!
Doesnt it, he said dryly. Out of respect for your offices,
Ive decided to take you first.
How sweet! Hebea said. Isnt that sweet, girls?
Very, they agreed.
HoD rolled his eyes. With a wave of his hand, the hot tub bubbled. And bubbled. And
bubbled. The water got hotter and hotter.
Ouch, said Nan. Kinda toasty. I think Im done. Ill be
wrinkly as a prune.
They tried to get up, but their exhaustion coupled with the heat had drained their energy.
They couldnt get out. In a few minutes, their skin was red and scalded, blistering
in the hot water, and their organs were poached right inside their bodies. The three
chancellors had been boiled alive.
There we go! Harbinger said happily. First of the year. Arent you
proud? The ghosts of the chancellors nodded. All right, come with me.
They held tight to his robes and with a swoosh they were gone, and back in the death
To the basement we go, he said, and ushered them into a massive jail cell with
several partitions inside. I cant have you people trashing my house again, so
I devised this cell to keep you enclosed. Dont worry, there are plenty of niceties
inside, but I have to keep you enclosed.
Thats no good! Hebea said as the door clanged behind them.
Were ghosts now. Bars cant hold us. She walked toward them, but
bumped right into the iron. Hey!!
These are bars made out of special metal that ghosts cant get through,
HoD explained. Itll hold you just fine. Well, Ive got more Debs to kill.
Well, how do you like that! Astraea said. This is horrible, the way
were being treated, like were common dead people or something! Im going
to rebel! Im going to clang on these bars until he comes back and lets us go!
Hey, popcorn and soda! Nanaea said, having found the fridge and pantry.
Oooh! Astraea bounded over to make sure she got her share.
Thus began the plague of death at Deb U.... Muhuahahahahaaaaaa!
Posted on Oct 07 1999, 05:06 PM
back to top