|Wishing Well/Jelly Belly
October 24 2001 at 10:07 AM
|Harbinger of Death
|Back on campus, the Vice Chancellors were
having a heyday. With the chancellors dead, they took possession of the
place, from the offices to the hot tubs to the mansion. The few people
left alive were invited to parties every single night, and anyone still
conscious in the morning was assigned to clerical duties.
“This is the life,” Jackie sighed. “I haven’t had this much fun since Lost Wages.”
“Tell me about it.” Ladybug sipped her margarita. “Oh, the freedom.”
“Oh, Assistant,” called Nydiva. “I need another.” She held up her empty margarita glass to Lyric, who took it to the kitchen for a refill.
“Me too.” Jackie gave her glass to Mania. “And don’t put any hallucinogens on the rim this time, okay?”
“What’s the point then?” Mania asked quizzically, heading to the kitchen.
“So how are we coming on those new civic projects?” Ladybug asked.
“Perhaps we should check them out. Assistant!” Nydiva rang a little bell next to her lounge chair.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” said Lyric, appearing with a full glass.
“Pack it up. The blender and everything. We’re going on a tour of the kingdom.”
“You mean campus.”
“Sure, sure, same thing.” They gathered up their portable bar items and hit the trails.
“Look at this!” said Jackie as they came upon a wishing well. It had a finely crafted roof and a gilded sign. “Did we commission this?”
“I don’t know,” said Ladybug. “I don’t remember doing it.”
“You guys don’t remember much from that party the other night,” Lyric reminded them. “You probably signed a few things we’ll regret.”
“This is lovely though. Look at the stonework.” Nydiva ran her fingers over the smooth stones.
“And the wildflowers are a nice touch. Who managed to find wildflowers in the fall?”
“You guys must have paid an arm and a leg for this,” said Mania. “You’re gonna be in trouble, you’re gonna be in trouuuuubllllllle….” She sang and hopped around.
“We might as well make a wish.”
“Yeah. We’re probably going to need all the wishes we can get.”
They each got out a dinar and made wishes for their very hearts’ desires.
‘I wish for the biggest, most powerful magic staff ever created,’ wished Jackie.
‘I wish we wouldn’t get caught and get in trouble for all this stuff,’ Ladybug wished.
‘I wish I had a recipe for foolproof meringue,’ thought Nydiva.
‘I wish I didn’t have to make another margarita in my whole life,’ Lyric wished.
“I wish I were the most powerful woman in the whole world and that every human being would bow to my every whim!” shouted Mania. The others looked at her, scowling. “Oops. Was that out loud?”
Mania shrugged and threw her dinar in the well. They all followed suit, watching the coins fall down, down, down. Clink, clink, clink clink clink. Wait a minute, they went clink instead of splash. Wasn’t there any water? Just then they each felt a powerful shove on their backsides, and they went tumbling down the deep, dark tunnel. They might have been conscious until they fell into a crumpled, broken mound at the bottom, or they may have smashed their heads on the rocks on the way down; either way, there was no hope for survival. Five more joined the party, whether they would have wished to or not.
Sairah held up the bucket of worms to Axman. “Pleeeeeease?” she asked, handing him her fishing pole. He sighed and put a worm on her hook.
“There you go,” he said. “You know, it’s ironic how you’ll take a raw chicken and cut it up for soup, but you can’t handle one little worm.”
“It’s not that. I just don’t want to get my hands dirty.”
“Then you probably picked the wrong activity. What do you think you’re going to do when you catch a fish?” Eeyoraus asked her.
“Ax will put it in the bucket for me.” She smiled sweetly at him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“I think I’ve got a bite!” Dream Traveler said, tugging at her line. She pulled a teensy fishy out of the water. “Nuts. Too small.” She took it from the hook and threw it back, and put another worm on.
“I wish we’d brought some sandwiches,” Sairah sighed. “An egg and cress would be so lovely just now.”
“That does sound good,” Eeyoraus agreed.
“Peanut butter and jelly is better,” Axman said.
“Just jelly is even better than that,” said Dream Traveler. “You get some nice fresh raspberry jam and lay it on there… Yum.”
“You can’t have jelly without peanut butter!”
“Sure you can. Jelly is the best thing in the whole world.”
“It’s not right. It’s unbalanced.”
“Um…” Sairah looked around the boat. “Are you talking about the sandwich or the boat?” For the boat was listing to the side a bit. Then it settled back. Then it listed again, and back straight. It felt as though they were riding some large waves, but the water around them appeared to be pretty still.
“What could that be?” Eeyoraus wondered, and leaned over the side to look into the water. She saw a shadow pass beneath the boat, but it was light in color. “I think I saw something,” she said, “but I can’t tell what it is.”
“Let me see.” Axman looked over the side, and he saw it too. “Curious. It almost looks like… But no, it’s too big.”
“Too big for what?” said Dream Traveler.
“If it is, it’s your fault,” he said.
“What are you talking about?” DT demanded.
“Just let it run its course,” Sairah advised. “He often talks nonsense.”
“You like jelly, right?”
“I love jelly.”
“Well, if I’m right, it’s—”
SWOOSH went the shadow, and this time they all saw it. It bumped the boat hard, and they all grabbed on to the sides to hang on. But the thing was relentless, and kept hitting the boat until it tipped entirely, dumping the four Debs into the water. They tried to turn the boat back upright and crawl in, but naturally they were no match for a giant jellyfish. Its many translucent, thin tentacles wrapped around them, and they felt its poisonous sting as the toxins were injected into their bodies. They were paralyzed in a moment, unable to stay afloat to keep the water from entering their lungs, and so their bodies drifted to the sea floor to rest in the sand.