And one oddball
by Harbinger of Death
The Debs down in the basement were quiet when they heard the Harbinger come in. They
didnt usually, but this time he was carrying something huge, and yelling at it. It
was a big old birdcage, and scrunched up inside it was a big goofy-looking guy in a
button-down shirt with a pocket protector. Harbinger hung it up on the ceiling next to the
holding cell, where its prisoner crouched in fear.
And let me tell you something else, Mr. Upper Management. Dont you EVER go and
make changes in these branches when youve never even worked in one a single day of
your rotten snobby life. I dont care if you are the Vice President of the
f#$%in company, when I spent literally all damn night in that place making it the
most organized and perfect-looking place in the world, you dont just come in the
next day and mess with everything, do you understand? HoD was livid, and actually
scary in his rage. The man nodded, eyes wide.
F&*@ing morons, HoD muttered, and handed sacks to the surprised Debs.
Here are some rotten tomatoes. I want you to vent your frustrations and throw them
at this man. He left, storming out in fury.
Whats your name? asked Bluetopaz.
Bob, said the guy.
So whats your story, Bob?
I dunno, I dont get it. I dont get out to the branches much, there are
hundreds of them, but I happened to be in one area last week and decided to stop by, and
it just seemed to me like a few changes could be made.
So you changed things? asked Bt.
Sure, Im the boss. Im the general manager after all.
Was he right? Youve never worked in one?
Do you spend much time in them?
Of course not. Im in the home office. Its my job to make the rules, not
to carry them out. Thats what I hire these part-time lackeys for. Bob was
Then you are a twit, said Bt. Harbinger told me about all the work he
put in for his regular job. He really did stay all night, until 5:45 in the morning, to
get that place looking great. I cant believe you came in there and changed it!
Well, its my right! he complained, puffing up his chest.
You look hungry to me, said Bt, and lobbed a hefty tomato at him. SPLAT! There
it went, all over his nice stupid striped shirt. The other Debs grabbed the mushy veggies
and followed suit. Soon he was covered in rotten tomato, and they had a good laugh at him.
What a dope.
Posted on Oct 28 1999, 02:44 AM