This snake is about to die...

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This snake is about to die...

October 2 2006 at 7:15 PM

NARRATOR: In a few moments now, he will be killed. For Omar Bir-Yilan is a convicted criminal...

(shot of Omar running down a dirt road)

NARRATOR: ... who has been allowed to choose the manner of his own execution.

(cut to a half-dozen topless jiggly roller girls chasing him)

(Omar gasps, pants, wheezes as he tries to escape, and at the same time constantly glance behind him)

OMAR: (wheezing) OK, just... gotta... lure them into the shrubs....

(Omar is too fixated on the jiggling roller girls behind him to notice the mass of white fur in front of him. He hits it. and Looks up. At a 12-foot tall polar bear.)


OMAR: Eep.

ROLLER GIRLS: We're outta here!

(Exit Roller Girls, not pursued by a bear. It stands over Omar, blood-soaked fangs glistening).

OMAR: Um.... Polar Bears and Snakes aren't mortal enemies, you know. They never fight.

(Polar Bear steps back and reaches up to its neck. There is a zipping noise. Omar is confused. The polar bear suit falls off what is inside it.... A quintet of smaller, leaner furry animals, standing on each others' shoulders to achieve the needed height. They look kind of weaselly, and I mean that in a literal way, not in a Steve Buscemi/Teabag from "Prison Break" kind of way. Omar looks up at the top animal.)

OMAR: My old arch enemy. Ignatius.

(The top animal... Ignatius the Mongoose... chortles. Then he and his four minion mongooses (mongeese?) dive forward, taking Omar down with them)

(there is a mass of flinging fur, shredded scales, and cartoony stars and Tasmanian Devil-type whirlwinds)

(Cut to: concentric circles, forming a target. The center of the target, a black circle, swings open. Harbinger of Death sticks his head through)

HARBY: Th-th-that's all, folks!

(An arrow flies from offcamera, hitting Harby square in the middle of his cowl. he flings backwards, arms flailing wildly. camera pans right to see the spectre of Omar holding a crossbow.)

OMAR: Jerkwad.

Fade out.

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