HoD - Humpty Deb-ty/Bubble bubble toil and trouble

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Humpty Deb-ty/Bubble bubble toil and trouble
by Harbinger of Death

“What the heck are you doing?” Harbinger of Death asked, looking at the mounds of ghost parts that were heaped outside the cell bars. Keleos and the rats stood beside him, having escaped by some dirty play, and having told him about the other Debs’ attempt to do the same.

“Nothing,” said Nydiva’s head, still on the floor. “Why?”

“I see you can’t get yourselves together again.” He put his hands on his hips.

“Uh...no.” Calee, who was also cut up by now, confessed he was right.

“Well, if you would have asked me I would have told you that you can’t. Ghosts, once cleaved like you are, have no adhesion and can’t be put together.”

“Wait a minute, does that mean...?”

“Yes, the few of you who did this to yourselves will have to stay like that until Halloween is over and you’re all reanimated.”

“This is all your fault!” Nydiva chided Omar.

“It’s not!” he said, pointing at Astraea. “It was her idea!”

“There’s no use arguing about it now,” said HoD. “I’ll have to put your parts someplace else now. You people have really messed things up. Man, no matter how hard I try to make things nice for you guys, it’s never good enough, is it?” He gathered up a few limbs in his arms. “As for YOU.” He looked sternly at Kel and the rats. “I’ve had about enough of your meddling. Come with me. And bring the rest of those parts.”

They took the ghost pieces upstairs, where HoD dumped them on the couch. “There. Now all of you, stand still.” He waved his arms and muttered an incantation. Kel and the rats froze like mannequins. “There. You’re in stasis and there’s no getting out of this. I hate to do this, because it means you’ll be completely incapacitated, but if you take advantage of the nicer accommodations I set up for you, you leave me no choice.” He carried their stiff bodies to the closet and shoved them in. “There you go.”

He turned back to the pieces. “Should I group you by person, or by body part?”

“Body part,” Lyric said. “I want my head with the other heads so I have somebody to talk to.”

“Good point,” said Orlena. “Me too.”

“All right then.” HoD put the heads on the couch (so they could see the TV too), the hands and arms on the other couch (so they could reach the remote), the legs and feet in the foyer, and the torsos around the dining room table. It looked weird, but they seemed happy, so he went ahead and left them while he went to catch up on his business.


“I miss him,” sighed Ladybug.

“Me too,” said Birdly.

“Me three,” said Castalia.

“It’s damned boring without the men,” said Manto.

“What should we do now? The revolution is on hold, most everybody else is dead, and the rest of us are nervous wrecks looking over our shoulders.” Birdly wrung her hands. “I even pressed and returned his cape, but he hasn’t shown any sign of lenience.”

“I don’t know. What if he doesn’t come back?” Castalia’s lip quivered.

“He’ll come back. They always do.” Manto patted her shoulder.

“I don’t know,” said Ladybug. “The old Harbinger has been pretty ruthless lately. Maybe he won’t let any of them come back.”

“No Omar?”

“Ever again?”

“No, it can’t be!”

They all began to cry and cry. “There’s only one way to be close to him now,” sniffled Manto, as she took up a bar of the soap Omar was in. The rest of them nodded.

“We must take a shower!” Birdly said. They grabbed towels and headed for the showers, leaving a trail of clothes along the way. The room filled up with steam as they turned on the water nice and hot. They each took a bar of soap lovingly in their hands and lathered it all over their bodies.

“He used to grab me right here,” Manto said fondly as she passed the soap over her bottom.

“Oh, Omar, I wish this were really you.” Ladybug closed her eyes and sudsed up her bosom.

They sniffled and cried as they lathered themselves up with all that remained of Omar. It was the closest they could come to having him grope them in his chancellorial way. While it had at times annoyed them, they found that they rather missed it. It was his way of expressing affection, after all. The bubbles covered every inch of their firm CA skin. All four at once...even when alive, Omar couldn’t have managed all four of them in the shower.

But underneath the soapy bubbles something else began to happen. Their skin started to bubble too. Sadly, they did not know that soap ingredients must always be pure and pasteurized, for if any acids are in the soap, it will damage the skin. This particular soap was full of acids, as it contained human remains, and the acids were present in lethal quantity.

“Ow!” said Castalia. “This burns!”

“Ouch!” Birdly cried. "Help!"

The girls tried to wash it off, but it was too late, and they had done too good a job of covering themselves with it. The acids ate at their bodies, dissolving away their skin and muscle. They screamed and ran underneath the water as much as they could manage. Yet it was to no avail. Within minutes they were piles of skinless carnage, and four new souls were added to the cage.

Posted on Oct 25 1999, 02:28 PM

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last updated: March 12, 2009
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