The CAP: Squabble, Squabble!

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The CAP: Squabble, Squabble!
by Nydiva

* * * * * * **
Word had been whispered around campus; Lady Pegasus was back! The CA's quickly called for an impromptu meeting to discuss the possible ramifications. It wasn't easy to gather them up at this point: they all had been very busy since the Chancellors left. The Debs who remained on campus barely knew what hit them. They were conscripted and assigned to various tasks - most of which were labor intensive and not many of which made much sense - to them.

Lambda, although not formally a Deb, was foremost among those in demand. She had been pointedly told that either she pitch in during this time of crisis or access to Deb U would be denied. With an almost pathetic eagerness, she begged not to be banished from the CA's sides. Her wish was more than amply granted and she found herself at the beck and call of all the CA's. Disshelved and breathless, she poked her head into the CA's meeting and whispered to Jackie. Jackie gave a satisfied nod and ordered her to continue her task.

"Wait one minute!!", thundered Bt, "you 're supposed to be cleaning up in the APD for me!"

"That had better be after she's finished hanging the draperies in my room!", said Calee.

"Well, you see," began Lambda.

"Not until she rounds up more hunters for me. I mean, for the purposes of my study." countered Bird.

"Rounds up hunters? She hasn't finished rounding up my penguins!", Keleos pouted.

"About that, I…", Lambda said hesitatingly.

"And have you finished peeling all the onions", Nydiva added.

"No, but...", the hapless and exhausted demi-Deb sputtered.

"And you'd better not forget to get all those massage oil stains out of my, um, the, you know what!" reminded Ladybug.

"I caaaann't" wailed Lambda. "Jackie's stuff comes first!"

"Who says so?", an angry chorus of CA's voices rang out.

"Jackie"!, she squeaked. "She showed me where in the parchment it said so." Lambda said this with no little hint of frustration as Jackie had cleverly unrolled just enough for her to see authority designation and nothing more.

All eyes turned in Jackie's direction. Jackie stood her ground uncomfortably but defiantly.

Bt turned to Antares. "If you'd be so kind as to hand me the parchment". Antares made a few gestures and the scroll materialized in her hands - straight from where Hades had helped her keep it safely hidden in the depths of Tartarus! Bt scanned it with an ever increasingly murderous look. Before Bt could speak, Nydiva noticed a gleam in Lambda's eyes. A gleam she did not care for.

"You'd better leave for now, Lamby-dear", she gently. "I don't think things are going to be very safe around here." Lambda began to protest (just when things were getting good), but Nydiva firmly reminded her that this might also be a good opportunity to get on with her other tasks and ensure her continuing attendance on campus. Further glares from Bt, Bird and Ladybug convinced her of the wisdom of this advice. Once they were certain Lamby was completely out of the area (having already checked the room to ensure that no bugging devices were present), the rest of the CA's quickly surrounded Bt, reading over her shoulder with ominous expressions.

"You've got SOME nerve", Bird huffed.

"To think my own grandaughter…" Bt snarled, her fingers tightening on her staff.

"Hey! Since when?!", Nydiva snapped.

"You, you...sneak!" sputtered Calee.

Jackie prepared to stand her ground. "After all," she explained, "I'm the one who was a CA the longest; I should be in charge."

"As the elder statesperson in the group," Bt seethed, "any decision like THAT should be left to ME!"

"You're NOT the only one in on this" Nydiva countered.

"Yeah, we ALL are doing the work and taking the risks; we ALL should have equal power," Calee complained.

"Well who spent all that money on equipment for the APD?!", Jackie fumed.

"At least I didn't start knocking down walls and rebuilding the place?" Bt countered.

Tempers were past flaring point. Bt began to tap her staff in frustration as Jackie grabbed for her own.

"How DARE you raise a staff to me!" Bt thundered.

"You've got your staff in hand as well." Jackie countered.

"Ladies, ladies," Nydiva began, then realized that no one would probably even recognize that term!

Calee and Bird thought it wise to separate the two, but in the ensuing struggle, Jackie's staff was activated and suddenly a small blue beaver chittered angrily where Bt had been standing.

Half apologetic and more than a little half laughing, Jackie cracked "Serves you right!" The beaver was not too happy with that pronouncement! Scurrying close to Jackie, the beaver grabbed the staff and bit it clean in two.

Everyone ducked as a fireworks like stream began to randomly shoot through the room. Pretty soon the terrified yelps of the ACs and their assistants morphed into assorted squawks, squeals and grunts. The noise rose to riotous levels until a stentorian voice swept the room.


The menagerie paused and gaped as a diaphonus thundercloud quickly formed to reveal the figure of Zeus!

"I can hear the lot of you all the way up on Mt. Olympus!" Quickly assessing the situation, Zeus strode over and addressed BtBB (Bt, the blue beaver).

"All right, you asked for my help and this is it. Return to your natural forms!"

Quiet sighs of relief emanated from the now restored Debs.

Zeus had not quite finished. "Now, the lot of you - SHUT UP and start working together again. And you," he said glaring at Jackie, "make amends! That's an ORDER! Defy me at your own risk!" He disappeared in a bright flash of lightning.

A momentary silence pervaded the room. "Wow", said Bird to Bt! "You got SOME help, all right!"

"I think we better take his advice", Ladybug said. Nydiva muttered something that sounded like "show off", but nodded her assent.

"I must admit, trying to take charge was a MOST cleverly devious thing do to", added Bt. "I could almost say I'm proud of you."

"Ohhhh, thank you GrandBt," said Jackie with a sigh of relief. "And I will make amends. Party in my new hot tub tonight! I'll supply the drinks. And...oh Nydiva, if you would be so kind…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Nydiva sighed. "Back to the ovens!"
* * * * * * * * * * * *

Posted on Oct 14 1999, 03:29 PM

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