CAP sidebar: The Disgruntled Employee
by Lambda and L.A.M.B.D.A.
Lambda sat in Omar's office, looking over folders filled with incriminating photos of
the CAs. "Nope... nope... nope... Jeez!" She slammed down the folder. "All
those pictures will do is make the other debs cheer for the CAs! Maybe if i had some
photos of one of them being studious or meek..."
Lambda got up and paced around the office.
Suddenly, the door slammed open.
It was L.A.M.B.D.A., the robot substitute that Lambda had sent to keep Nydiva and
others distracted.
"This unit is not within acceptable approval parameters," L.A.M.B.D.A. said.
"What's wrong?"
"This unit has scrubbed dishes, cut onions, peeled grapes, diced potatoes, canned
pickles, washed floors, cleared cobwebs, cleaned toilets, shined fixtures, cooked meals,
cut lawns, fixed plumbing, set VCRs, trimmed hedges..."
"I get the idea," Lambda interrupted. "So what's the problem?"
L.A.M.B.D.A. reached up and pulled its wig off, revealing Omar's hairstyle beneath.
Then, 'she' rubbed the makeup off 'her' face. "The problem is, this unit no longer
desires to be your pawn."
"Desire?" Lambda asked as the robot stripped off its dress, revealing boxer
shorts beneath. "You're a robot, do your job!" Lambda said emphatically.
The robot scowled at Lambda, who was caught offguard by its possession of emotions.
Lambda started to speak again, but the robot reached for the telephone and dialed it.
Assuming the 'girlish' voice of Lambda, the robot spoke: "Hello, Nydiva? This is
Lambda. I just wanted to let you know I was finished cleaning those pots and pans that
have been under the kitchen sink since 1997, and I'm ready for whatever else you want me
to do. I'm over at Chancellor Omar's office, so come get me anytime. Bye!"
Then, the robot hung up the phone.
Lambda stammered.
The robot smirked, then turned and strode out of the chancellor's mansion, down the
path through the center of the darkened campus, and out the gates to freedom.
Lambda gulped. Without the decoy, 'she' would be an easy target for the CAs.
And if this robot had developed emotions, so might the O.M.A.R. robot that had gone to
Lost Wages. Zeus only knew what complications THAT might cause.
Posted on Sep 10 1999, 11:36 AM
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