The CAP: The money it just keeps rollin' in (and out)

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Dear Diary ] Internal Report K34337201 ]

The CAP: The money it just keeps rollin' in (and out)
by Ladybug

“We got the money!!!” the chancellors screamed, holding each other’s arms and jumping up and down in a circle.

Rose watched coolly. “This is quite a hefty sum,” she said, holding up the check. “It needs two chancellors’ signatures to be cashed. Who would like to handle that responsibility?”

“ME!” they all chimed, and then looked at each other in suspicion. An argument ensued as to who could be trusted. Each accused the others of hooking up with one other chancellor to get the money, thus shafting everyone else.

“I suppose I could take it,” Rose offered. They blinked.

“You?” Astraea said. “I suppose you could.”

“She’s not a chancellor,” Nanaea noted.

“She can’t sign the check,” Omar remarked.

“Even if she forged Omar’s name, none of us would sign it with her,” Nanaea concluded.

“All right, you keep the check. Guard it with your life!” Astraea said. “We have to have that thing intact when we get home. Oh, the hot tubs it will buy!” she said with glee. “Uh, textbooks. I meant books, and supplies and things. Sure.”

“I will protect her,” O.M.A.R. said, looking at her warmly. “Nothing shall harm her while I’m around.”

“Ain’t that sweet,” Nan growled.

And so sweet little Rose tucked the check into her bosom (remember that, not being our own Ladybug, this would actually be a pretty safe place) and promised she would see it safely to Deb U. “It shall arrive there safely, even if you don’t,” she thought to herself, and had to suppress a sinister laugh.


O.M.A.R. bounced along. He had a date with Ladybug. A real date, not just dinner with everyone else, to be followed by sleep and only sleep. She’d promised him that they would finally have some time alone.

So when he opened the door to their hotel room and found her tied to the bed with scarves, he was excited. So this is what the real Omar got to partake of! He realized then that he’d grown to like Ladybug. In fact, he liked her a lot. And he might not give her back when they got home. He was sure he was stronger than his creator.

But wait, something was wrong. She was gagged too. How could she have gagged herself? He ran over to pull the scarf from her mouth.

“The check!” she gasped. “It’s gone!”

O.M.A.R. was taken aback. “Gone?” he said. “Who took it? And why did he steal your clothes too?” He noted her black undies with approval.

“He didn’t steal my clothes. I was getting dressed for our date when a man came in and held me at knifepoint, said he knew I had money, and if I didn’t give it to him, he...he...he would kill me!” She started to cry.

“Don’t cry,” he urged her. “I am here. You’re safe. Everything will be all right.” He kissed her on the cheek, and then on the lips. “I’ll protect you now.” He went to untie her.

“Wait,” Ladybug said. “Not yet. Kiss me again.”
When the chancellors were called together to hear the news of the theft (some hours later), they were devastated.

“Our money!” wailed Nanaea. “My poor empty vault!”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. It’s all right. They can’t do anything with it; it’s just a check. They can’t sign our names.” Astraea tried to calm her down.

“But how will the bank know it’s not our signatures?” Nan demanded. “Anybody could sign our names.”

“Nobody knows all of our names. They just have a check made out to the university,” Astraea explained. “It would only be dangerous if the thief were someone who knew us.”

“Sorry I’m late,” breathed Hebea, running into the room. “I would have been here earlier but I couldn’t find Autolycus. He seems to have disappeared. Checked out and everything. So what’s the emergency?”

The chancellors looked at each other. “Uh-oh.”

Posted on Sep 08 1999, 04:14 PM

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