The CAP: DebU Mandatory Meeting

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The CAP: DebU Mandatory Meeting
by Jackie

Following instructions posted on the bulletin board earlier in the week, the residents of DebU began to gather in the University’s Auditorium. It was the only room big enough to hold a group of that size. The seats were set up in half moon rows facing a large stage. Normally the stage was set up with various props for whatever play was currently running. On this day there was only a row of chairs and one podium.

Whispered questions could be heard around the auditorium as the debs speculated on the topic of the meeting. ‘What’s this all about?’ FMN asked Lyric. ‘I don’t know. The notice just said that it was mandatory that all residents attend this meeting.’ ‘The Chancellors haven’t come back from their trip yet, do you suppose it’s about them?’ another deb questioned. ‘Where did they go anyway? The Chancellors’ Assistants I’ve asked have been vague in answering.’ In all the excitement, no one noticed Lambda sneaking in a side door and hiding behind a potted fern, well except Professor Cathbad. He wondered again who this mysterious deb was. Lambda had been quite abrupt when he had tried to talk to her before. Perhaps she was shy, or playing hard to get? Cathbad grinned, he liked a challenge.

The room quieted as Jackie walked out on the stage followed by the other Chancellor Assistants. Jackie took the place behind the podium as the other CA’s sat in the chairs. Jackie had convinced the other CA’s that since she had been the one to acquire the Chancellors signature on the all-important document that she should be the one to speak for them at the meeting. The others agreed, most because they knew it could be difficult to keep the attention of that many debs in one room. Bt, however, agreed so she could watch certain expressions as the news was given. You never knew where strife might start, or with who.

‘Attention! Can I have your attention please!’ Jackie yelled out over the mic. ‘Thank you.’ Jackie spoke to the crowd in her most authoritative voice. ‘Thank you all for attending this meeting. The other Chancellor Assistants and I have some important news we would like to share with you. You may have noticed the departure of the Chancellors earlier this week. They have decided to attend a very important conference at Lost Wages.

‘Lost Wages’, Paladin interrupted Jackie, ‘I’ve heard of that place. I ‘bet’ they’re working hard.’ ‘Sure’, complained Orlena ‘Leave all of us here to work and go to classes while they have fun.’ Bt gave Orlena a covert smile of approval.

‘Quiet! Now we all know how hard the Chancellors work.’ Jackie tried valiantly to get the word out without laughing. ‘They deserve a break. Besides they do have important duties to complete there, for the good of DebU.’

‘However, we are not sure how long they will be gone. The other assistants and I believe it may be for some time.’ Jackie couldn’t help grinning back at the other assistants. ‘Rest assured that the university is in good hands while they are gone. Before leaving the Chancellors all signed this scroll granting their assistants complete control over DebU.’ Jackie handed the scroll over to Antares who made it disappear quickly. The scroll would be stored with Hades for safekeeping.

‘But’, questioned Tori ‘What if we have a problem? Who do we ask? Are all of you equally in charge?’ Jackie stood up straighter, ‘Well, of course, any assistant would be willing to help with any questions you may have. However, if it is something of grave importance, and it would make you feel better, you may bring the problem to me. As the assistant who has been Chancellor Assistant longest I would be happy to help you.’ Bt and NYDiva looked at eachother in confusion. Did Jackie imply what they thought she had?

Seeing the suspicious looks of her co-assistants, Jackie hurried on. ‘Activities will continue as usual on campus. Actually, they probably will run more smoothly. We want to take this opportunity to assure you that we will take care of everything. Think of us as your ‘acting’ Chancellors.’ ‘Hmmph’ thought Lambda, ‘Are these debs really buying this load of manure?’

‘Not only will everything continue as always, but we are hoping to make some much needed changes. It is our goal to make your stay here at DebU an enjoyable one. I know that lately your concerns have been largely ignored. No longer! Please consider us at your disposal. Our primary concern is your happiness and the continued improvement of DebU.’ Jackie left off realizing she was laying it on a little thick.

‘Now a few announcements before we end. As your new ‘acting’ Chancellors, we will each need assistants. Orlena and Antares have generously agreed to be Chancellor Assistants’ Assistants, but we will need several more to keep things running smoothly. Please see us after the meeting if you would like the position.’

Seeing the debs becoming restless and amazed that they had sat still for so long, Jackie ended the meeting. ‘Thank you all for attending. As a token of your new ‘acting’ Chancellors commitment to you, we have provided food and beverages in the back. Please stick around and enjoy the party. Classes are cancelled for the rest of the day. We hope…’ The rest of Jackie’s speech was overrun as debs rushed the tables at the back.

Enjoy the day off and the party!

Posted on Aug 25 1999, 02:20 PM

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last updated: March 12, 2009
Shoshana 1999-2009